Yesterday I got a message on my cell phone and it went like this:
Mrs. Schumacher, this is Mr. (whatever his name is) the Assistant Principal from Mira Loma Middle School. I was just told that your husband is being hospitalized and so I wanted to call and see how he's doing, wanted to see if everything is ok, let us know if there is anything you need. The number at the school is XXX-xxxx.
Huh? Really? Hmmmm....
The call came in at 4:12 pm and I was too busy to answer, let alone even hear, my phone. From 3:45 - 4:00 I was standing in line at Disneyland holding a screaming crying toddler. As soon as we were seated for the Aladdin show, I fed Libby and talked to Gracie. The show started at 4:15, so I just missed it. At 6:30 pm my husband called me and I was having dinner with a friend in a Disneyland Resort Hotel restaurant and my girls were being angels, so I told hubby that I was having dinner and I'd call him when I hit the road for home. I didn't give him a chance to tell me much but he didn't seem anxious to tell me any big news either.
At 7:06pm I noticed I had a collection of texts and voicemails, so I checked all of it and found that gem from the AP. Remembering that my husband stayed home today with a sore throat and snuffy nose, plus I did cut him off so I could eat dinner, and he may not have wanted to ruin my day... a little part of me could see this happening. Just for a minute though. 7:07pm, I called Keith and said, "Where are you anyway?" He said, "in my man-room". Ah. Thought as much. So I told him what my message said from his AP and he was very confused.
I've never spoken to this guy before and he sounded genuinely concerned, so I didn't think it was a joke phone call. With Middle School teachers, there are a lot of jokes between them; they are a crazy bunch! But, I'm not in on that and none of them have ever called me before, much less on my cell.
When I got home I made fun of my husband, teased him about the nurses asked him if he needs a bedpan, stuff like that. Today he went to school ready to hear how he ended up in the hospital. Should be an interesting story full of confusion and "he said" and "we heard". The rumors are rampant in middle schools but they've never entertained me this much. Can't wait to hear the rest of this story!
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Slumber Party!
My husband is having a slumber party. Yes, my husband. The man. His grown man friends are coming over to play, eat and spend the night. Yes, grown up. Not ten-year olds. Closing-in-on-50 yr olds. Thank you for your sympathy; I need it!
I kind of wish his friends were slobs, but they aren't. They are very neat. My house is very messy. Hmmm. This means only one thing: I will be cleaning everything today! Ugh. And I only have a few hours, the guys all get off work at 1pm today so they'll be here around 2:00 or so. So what am I doing with my precious limited time? Blogging!
I arranged for the little girls to have a playdate for a couple of hours so I can scrub the floors and bleach the bathrooms without any helpers. These things need to be done anyway, but I feel kinda cruddy and I just want to lay on the couch all day. Mama isn't allowed to have a headcold, gotta get the house in shape for the slumber party.
I'm also nursing a broken heart. We went to the mall last week and lost Libby's cutest hat ever. She liked it and she would actually wear it! I've been searching online, but haven't found one like it. It was the perfect size, the yarn was the perfect weight, it matched everything. I guess I'll get over it, but I'm sad that I didn't shove it deep into the diaper bag to keep it safe. Poor little lost kitty cat hat! Good-bye. We'll replace you soon.
I kind of wish his friends were slobs, but they aren't. They are very neat. My house is very messy. Hmmm. This means only one thing: I will be cleaning everything today! Ugh. And I only have a few hours, the guys all get off work at 1pm today so they'll be here around 2:00 or so. So what am I doing with my precious limited time? Blogging!
I arranged for the little girls to have a playdate for a couple of hours so I can scrub the floors and bleach the bathrooms without any helpers. These things need to be done anyway, but I feel kinda cruddy and I just want to lay on the couch all day. Mama isn't allowed to have a headcold, gotta get the house in shape for the slumber party.
I'm also nursing a broken heart. We went to the mall last week and lost Libby's cutest hat ever. She liked it and she would actually wear it! I've been searching online, but haven't found one like it. It was the perfect size, the yarn was the perfect weight, it matched everything. I guess I'll get over it, but I'm sad that I didn't shove it deep into the diaper bag to keep it safe. Poor little lost kitty cat hat! Good-bye. We'll replace you soon.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
"V"
Hello, Mary's Blog Fans. Mary's husband here. I'm taking over the keys to the blog today. I noticed this new TV show "V" is a remake of an 80s show by the same name. Remember that one? This one seems the same with updates. Here are my thoughts on the new V show and my predictions:
It is all pretty predictable--and that Nazi-like allegory is still there. The son of the main character is signed up to be part of the "Hitler Youth" and I'm sure will eventually sell out his own mother to the "V's"
In fact, Here's how the rest of the series will go:
* The son will develop a romantic (albeit one-sided) relationship with the hot little blonde V as he continues to lie to his mom about being involved.
* As she leads him on, he begins to rise up in the ranks and gains more V trust.
* Eventually, the hot little blonde V will start to show some feelings for him, and reveal the truth of her reptilian heart, OR, she will go all psycho on his arse and reveal how she used him like the tool he is--THEN reveal her reptilian side. Either way, THAT is when this tool will realize Mom was right all along.
* Meanwhile, the younger priest will become more involved in the underground resistance--helping to lead it and gaining intel from the FBI agent. Also-- The priest will at some point end up killing his older Priest mentor--who is actually a V himself.
* The turning point will be when a large portion of the population realizes the true intent of the V's (to turn us into soylent green), and a V revolt erupts. That revolt willl involve the internet and hackers (because using the internet can solve anything) taking over tv stations for a worlwide broadcast of some video evidence that the V's are lying about who and what they are and why they are here. That might be the black guy ripping the human skin off his reptilian arm live on camera.
* By now, the jilted son has switched sides and provides valuable intel about the V embassy so the resistance can blow it up, which they do almost simultaneous to the "Here is the Real V" tv broadcast. Result: chaos and mass anti-V sentiment ending with multiple attacks against V's, (with lots of scenes of 15 year old cars getting blown up) and prompting the V's to use their superior weaponry in defense.
* Season-ending cliff-hanger scene will be of the cute bitch V leader with a nasty pissed off Nancy-Pelosi looking expression (or maybe Hillary) telling the weaselly reporter that if the humans want war, the V's will bring it.
...and there will be no season 2
It is all pretty predictable--and that Nazi-like allegory is still there. The son of the main character is signed up to be part of the "Hitler Youth" and I'm sure will eventually sell out his own mother to the "V's"
In fact, Here's how the rest of the series will go:
* The son will develop a romantic (albeit one-sided) relationship with the hot little blonde V as he continues to lie to his mom about being involved.
* As she leads him on, he begins to rise up in the ranks and gains more V trust.
* Eventually, the hot little blonde V will start to show some feelings for him, and reveal the truth of her reptilian heart, OR, she will go all psycho on his arse and reveal how she used him like the tool he is--THEN reveal her reptilian side. Either way, THAT is when this tool will realize Mom was right all along.
* Meanwhile, the younger priest will become more involved in the underground resistance--helping to lead it and gaining intel from the FBI agent. Also-- The priest will at some point end up killing his older Priest mentor--who is actually a V himself.
* The turning point will be when a large portion of the population realizes the true intent of the V's (to turn us into soylent green), and a V revolt erupts. That revolt willl involve the internet and hackers (because using the internet can solve anything) taking over tv stations for a worlwide broadcast of some video evidence that the V's are lying about who and what they are and why they are here. That might be the black guy ripping the human skin off his reptilian arm live on camera.
* By now, the jilted son has switched sides and provides valuable intel about the V embassy so the resistance can blow it up, which they do almost simultaneous to the "Here is the Real V" tv broadcast. Result: chaos and mass anti-V sentiment ending with multiple attacks against V's, (with lots of scenes of 15 year old cars getting blown up) and prompting the V's to use their superior weaponry in defense.
* Season-ending cliff-hanger scene will be of the cute bitch V leader with a nasty pissed off Nancy-Pelosi looking expression (or maybe Hillary) telling the weaselly reporter that if the humans want war, the V's will bring it.
...and there will be no season 2
Friday, October 9, 2009
Just Like Magic
It's been two weeks; the signs are all still up and.... Can I get a Drumroll, please.... He remembered his work keys every day for two solid weeks!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Hey, Mr. Forgetful, Got Keys?
My husband, affectionately known as "Mr. Forgetful", has a few essentials that he cannot live without during his workday: Classroom keys, Cell Phone, and Bluetooth. On Thursdays he also needs his bag of college teaching materials. Most mornings when he is ready to leave, car or motorcycle keys in hand, we have the same discussion:
Him: What am I forgetting?
Me: Keys, Phone, Bluetooth?
Him: (pats himself in all the right places) Yup, Yup, Yup
Me: Bye!
Him: Bye!
Some mornings, we don't go through the list. Like today for instance...
He apparently remembered his cell phone because he called and said "*$#!@(% I =$%^#!@? forgot my %&(@#$$#! keys! #@!$%&!)*!" I did my wifely duty and sympathized, "aww". I held in the giggles.
And then, I got a bright idea! I'll help the guy out! After all, he's forgotten his keys countless times this school year already, and school has been in session for what - three weeks? Not to mention last week when he forgot his bag and I drove the 45 miles to his school to give it to him.
While I was making the "Got Keys?" signs, I found his bluetooth sitting right there by the computer. Hahahaha!
*Update* I hung a total of six signs and I have one ready to stick in his truck and one to rest on his motorcycle. I also left the word document up on his computer screen (I had to use his because one of the runts unplugged my printer and now it's not recognizing the network).
He came home from work and noticed one of the signs on his way in, he walked all the way in to get his hugs from the kids, then he turned around to go back out to his "Man Room" and that's when he saw the rest of them! He smirked. He gave me that look that says, "Smarty Pants". I said "I'm helping! Isn't that why you called me?" He said, "Thanks, Honey".
He hasn't taken down any of his signs. I think that's so funny! He's not one bit angry or insulted, he's laughing at my helpful antics - after all, he was just asking for it!!! Hahaha!
Him: What am I forgetting?
Me: Keys, Phone, Bluetooth?
Him: (pats himself in all the right places) Yup, Yup, Yup
Me: Bye!
Him: Bye!
Some mornings, we don't go through the list. Like today for instance...
He apparently remembered his cell phone because he called and said "*$#!@(% I =$%^#!@? forgot my %&(@#$$#! keys! #@!$%&!)*!" I did my wifely duty and sympathized, "aww". I held in the giggles.
And then, I got a bright idea! I'll help the guy out! After all, he's forgotten his keys countless times this school year already, and school has been in session for what - three weeks? Not to mention last week when he forgot his bag and I drove the 45 miles to his school to give it to him.
While I was making the "Got Keys?" signs, I found his bluetooth sitting right there by the computer. Hahahaha!
*Update* I hung a total of six signs and I have one ready to stick in his truck and one to rest on his motorcycle. I also left the word document up on his computer screen (I had to use his because one of the runts unplugged my printer and now it's not recognizing the network).
He came home from work and noticed one of the signs on his way in, he walked all the way in to get his hugs from the kids, then he turned around to go back out to his "Man Room" and that's when he saw the rest of them! He smirked. He gave me that look that says, "Smarty Pants". I said "I'm helping! Isn't that why you called me?" He said, "Thanks, Honey".
He hasn't taken down any of his signs. I think that's so funny! He's not one bit angry or insulted, he's laughing at my helpful antics - after all, he was just asking for it!!! Hahaha!
Friday, April 10, 2009
My Husband doesn't understand me
See that look on his face? There he is, confused and bewildered. We went to Lowe's to pick up a few tiles and things - see the stack of tile in the trunk by his knee? So, he opens the trunk of my van to put the tile in and he finds.... three strollers, a potty chair and a 40lb bag of dog food.
What is there to be confused about?
The dog food: We needed more and I bought a bag, but when I came home I had to bring in the two little girls, diaper bag, purse, groceries... and then my hands were full and I left the super heavy bag of dog food in the van for him to go out and get it. Then I forgot to tell him.
The potty chair: When you gotta go - you gotta go!
Three strollers: Duh. Might need this one or that one or the other one! One is a double, one is a full size single and the other one is the little umbrella. I don't like to have the wrong stroller with me. I left one at home and one at the babysitter's house, it's not like I'm taking them all with me everywhere I go. Just a trunkload.
What is there to be confused about? Men!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Prince Charming was in the kitchen
I don't post much about my husband. He's fairly well behaved. But he was in MY kitchen last night! 
I just spent a couple of hours cleaning up after him.
He made beer. His first batch of home brewed beer. It's going to be great! But, that man can sure make a mess. Last night he was bottling his brew. Bottling the beer involves... bottles mostly. Caps, crimper, buckets, lids, tubing, thermometers, long spoons, etc. After he was all done bottling I told him "You better rinse out your tube"
That sounded funny!
An hour later I said "Did you clean out your tube?" I'm so easily amused!
When I went to bed just before midnight I said to the man.... "Clean your beer equipment or you'll ruin it and have to buy all that stuff all over again". There. I spoke to his wallet this time. Around 1:30am I woke up and heard water running and a lot of clanging and banging in the kitchen. Good, Prince Charming was cleaning his mess!
Oh my goodness is all I could say when I got up this morning. Sure, the tubing was clean, but everything else was half scrubbed, soaking in soapy water, scattered here and there, and just in general chaos. Good thing he went to work or I'd have to beat him with his beer spoon!
Not only that but he scrubbed the bottles in the bathtub. Oh yeah, there are labels in my bathtub along with extra bottles, a ring in the tub, beer boxes, bleach, scrub brushes.... and just in general sloppy messiness.
I know I should have just left it for him to take care of tonight, but I wanted some breakfast. So, I got to work and cleaned it all up and put away and made breakfast too. What a crazy mess! That beer better be good; I think I earned a couple of bottles.
Good thing he's so darn charming!
I just spent a couple of hours cleaning up after him. He made beer. His first batch of home brewed beer. It's going to be great! But, that man can sure make a mess. Last night he was bottling his brew. Bottling the beer involves... bottles mostly. Caps, crimper, buckets, lids, tubing, thermometers, long spoons, etc. After he was all done bottling I told him "You better rinse out your tube"
That sounded funny! An hour later I said "Did you clean out your tube?"
I'm so easily amused! When I went to bed just before midnight I said to the man.... "Clean your beer equipment or you'll ruin it and have to buy all that stuff all over again". There. I spoke to his wallet this time. Around 1:30am I woke up and heard water running and a lot of clanging and banging in the kitchen. Good, Prince Charming was cleaning his mess!
Oh my goodness is all I could say when I got up this morning. Sure, the tubing was clean, but everything else was half scrubbed, soaking in soapy water, scattered here and there, and just in general chaos. Good thing he went to work or I'd have to beat him with his beer spoon!
Not only that but he scrubbed the bottles in the bathtub. Oh yeah, there are labels in my bathtub along with extra bottles, a ring in the tub, beer boxes, bleach, scrub brushes.... and just in general sloppy messiness.
I know I should have just left it for him to take care of tonight, but I wanted some breakfast. So, I got to work and cleaned it all up and put away and made breakfast too. What a crazy mess! That beer better be good; I think I earned a couple of bottles.
Good thing he's so darn charming!
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