Moms Night Out

Note: I wrote this on two days, the first part on Friday morning, and the second part on Saturday morning. Mom's Night Out was Friday night and here it is, Sunday, so you just have to play catch-up!

Friday:
I'm going!!! The local moms group that I attend infrequently is having a Moms Night out tonight. We are all abandoning our husbands and children and going out to eat without wrestling a long-armed toddler, no taking a little kid to a public restroom mid-meal, no watching Daddy eat a good hot meal while I'm letting mine get cold cuz I don't have enough arms, no falling out of my chair while reaching into the depths of my diaper bag (I'll never forget that).

I don't know these moms very well, just as acquaintances. I would know them all better if I could actually stand still long enough to have a decent conversation, but I end up chasing my kids and running away from any adult conversation that actually is happening. Most of them (ok, all of them) are younger than me, but that is the nature of the beast that is my life anyway.

I'm so excited to go out. I haven't had 5 minutes alone for weeks and weeks. Except in the shower and even then, they are right there waiting for me, yelling for me, sure wish my bathroom had a door! I did take the trash out, alone, just the other day. I needed a minute. They were watching me out the window and crying the whole time I was "gone".

I'm going to leave early for the moms dinner and linger as long as I can. I'm going to be pissed off if our table is next to a table with a little kid. No offense, but really, I don't want to deal with it for just one meal. Everyone in Temecula who is going to the Macaroni Grill tonight.... get a sitter. Seriously, don't come near me with your runts. I'm a woman on the edge.


Saturday:
Had a great time!

Went out with "Nora's Mom", "Becca's Mom", "that drooling baby's mom", "cutest baby at the halloween party's mom" and some other mom I've never met before. It's hard to get to know them very well when you don't go to baby group very often anymore and when you do, you just chase your toddler around and never engage in any actual conversation. Last time I went I spent most of my time crawling under the tables that were shoved to the side of the room in a long row trying to rescue Libby who kept trying to stand up under there and bumping her head. They were all very nice and a couple of them looked fabulous! I should have brushed my hair.

I ate a whole meal without anyone grabbing my plate, food or my silverware. I drank a full glass of water that didn't have slobber in it. I had a glass of wine too! Party on!

When I got home, Keith looked ragged. Geez, dude, you had a nap before you had to watch the kids. I made them dinner and gave them a bath before I left. How hard could it have been? Well.... they wouldn't eat their dinner, they wanted bites of his bowl of chili. So he had to struggle to get any of his own food. Then Libby grabbed his full spoon and he spilled chili all down his shirt. He says "this explains why you have food on your shirt all the time". Yes, yes it does. Then Libby had TWO dirty diapers. This man does not do diapers. He had to change TWO poopy diapers! He wasn't happy about that at all. Gracie was all upset because I was gone and she wouldn't move more than 4 feet away from him so he kept running over her every time he turned around. Yup, sounds familiar. She's 4, but she doesn't let me out of her sight, she really freaks out about that. Then he said he understands now why I needed some time to myself because it probably has been a while and three hours was exhausting. I told him the last time was when I got a babysitter for one hour and got my hair cut - last month!

All in all.... it was a fabulous night! When I got home Libby was still up and she hugged me so tight it felt wonderful. Gracie was sound asleep and she was super happy to see me this morning. Big adorable smile! It's so nice to be appreciated by the little runts! And the big guy too.

Bribery Works!

I'm bribing my 4 yr old. It's working great! I love it! That's how I potty trained her too, she has a price. She can be bought! Whenever I hear that "He can be bought!" phrase, I hear it in Robin Williams voice as the Genie in Disney's Aladdin movie. And now you know what the voices in my head sound like.

Anyway, Gracie has been getting in my bed in the middle of the night and then I'm squished and sweating between two little girls and a dog and a pile of unnecessary blankets. The hubby usually looks pretty comfy clinging the edge of his side of the bed, but this is just too much for me! The dog will usually figure out that she doesn't have enough room to sprawl out, so she'll go get in Libby's toddler bed which is just the right size.

Bribery is giving me a bit of breathing room lately. I told Gracie if she will stay in her own bed in her own room all night long and sleep all night until morning, I'll take her to the park. It's working! She loves going to the park. What 4 year old wouldn't fall for that? And, she just figured out how to pedal her tricycle, so we have been taking that with us to the parks and she's putting on some miles, then playing on the playground equipment too. This is wearing her out every day, helping with the sleep issue and earning the reward.

And, it's been fun! Tomorrow I'm taking the little girls to the zoo. If she doesn't stay in her own bed, I'll tell her that her little sis did! Aren't I devious?

Thankful for No Job

I don't have to be out of town on business today. I don't have any board meetings. I don't have any pressing deadlines. I don't have to sit in a cubicle. I don't have to carry a briefcase. I don't have to wear a dress and panty-hose. I don't have to clock-in or watch the clock.

I don't have to carpool. I don't have to make my kids get up and dressed and out the door at 7am. I don't have to worry all day about my kids in daycare. I don't have to worry about my job during the night when my daughter spikes a spontaneous fever. I don't have to mask her sniffles with cold medicine and "forget" to tell the sitter. I don't have to put my career pressures on my little kids.

I don't get a paycheck. That's ok. I don't feel underpaid. I work 24 hours a day without a day off, ever. I work when I'm sick. I work when I'm tired. But I don't mind too much and I don't call it work. I don't have a boss; I have two. I love them very much! And, they won't fire me.

I am so very grateful that my husband works two jobs so that I can stay home with our two little daughters. I don't have anything against daycare or babysitters or working mothers, I am just happy to be free from adding all of that to our lives. I don't take these days at home for granted. I love not having a job!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day! To me and you and you and you and you too!

Thank you so much to my princesses for giving me motherhood. I love being a mom, and they are the best daughters! I still can't believe there are four of them!

What do you want?

For the last 20 yrs or so, I've asked the endless question "What do you want?". I ask continually because I am the Mom.

I've been asking ever since I first found myself talking to my pregnant belly. Do you want to be a girl or a boy? Do you want chocolate or steamed veggies? And I haven't stopped asking that same question. I ask "What do you want" when they cry, when I get that teenager eyeroll, when they look bored, sad, sick or excited. I ask when they don't even look like they want anything at all. I just ask.

I don't ask out loud. Can you imagine hearing me say that four thousand times a day? It's just my mental state of mind. Motherhood is endless servitude.

Before I was a mom, I didn't ask "What do you want?" except when I was talking to myself! Now, I have a hard time answering that question for myself. I think that's why I've had such a hard time with college.

Going back to college is for me. But the mom in me feels the need to make everything I do a response to "What do you want?" and so I find it difficult to study, go to class when my kiddo has a headache or cries when I drop her off at the sitter, or forgot her lunch money for school. Feels strange to do something for myself.

Libby and I were having some playtime the other day. And I looked at her and said "What do you want?" She smiled and cooed. I wonder what she wants out of life. She is two months old now. I wonder what her aspirations are? I wonder what I can do to make her the person she wants to be? I wonder what she wants.

Gracie is easier to figure out. She jumps around in front of the tv and says "I want that! I want that! I want that!" My turn to give the eyeroll.