Run-In with the Law

Must be hard to be my neighbor, having to put up with me and my shenanigans all the time. There's one gal on our street who just can't handle living near us; it's tough, I know. She's just too good for the neighborhood, especially when she has to deal with hoodlums like me!

Now, I realize I may be jumping the gun here in my assumption. And I'm pretty quick to point the finger of blame at my neighbor, but who else would do that? She's known for calling the cops every time someone on the block has a party or a dog barks too long. The police know our nice little neighborhood all too well. And now, The Garbage Police are watching me.

Someone, i.e. Crazy Mailbox Lady (that's what I call her because 1. she's the crazy mailbox lady and 2. I don't know her name) called the cops on us for leaving our trash cans out on the curb too long. I can't remember when the last time was we left them on the curb too long, but my memory is no match for the Crazy Mailbox Lady. Our city code gives us 24 hours to get the cans off the curb. Or else! We got this letter in the mail warning us to behave. Note the threat of fines is underlined in red.


I see that my next door neighbors took their trash cans all the way back to the back yard. Betcha the cops are after them too. Hmmm, wonder why. Must be Crazy Mailbox Lady!

I guess the mailbox drama is all over now and we've moved on. Wonder how often she calls the cops on the people in the neighborhood? Think they are as sick of her as the post office was? Some people belong in an expensive neighborhood with strict HOA rules. I think Crazy Mailbox Lady would be so much happier behind iron bars! No, not jail, a gated community!

I might have to start calling her Crazy Mailbox/Trash Can Lady.

I don't know if I ever finished blogging about the mailbox drama. It finally came to an end and I didn't think too much more of it. Crazy Mailbox Lady finally drove the postmaster and postal workers insane; it's amazing that they didn't "go postal" on her! Hahaha, oh, I crack myself up! I'm so punny! Anyway, after her daily visits to the post office to complain about our mailbox situation (our letter carrier said they used to all run and hide when they saw her coming), they finally found a solution that pleased her. Or maybe she just settled for it, who knows. Now they sort her mail out and deliver it to a locked mailbox cluster on another street. It had a vacant box. Wonder if they gave her a personal zip code so it is easier to sort her out from our street. Can you imagine being such a pain in the post office that you get your mail sorted out of order just to shut you up? Amazing.

After the mailbox saga was resolved, she started in on our neighbor who was her next door neighbor about his dogs. Guess she gave him a very hard time and when something really did happen at his house, her calls to the police about the dogs barking were ignored because she called so often. A police officer actually told us this little bit of interesting trivia.

Well, Crazy Mailbox/Trash Can Lady... I pulled my garbage bins in up to my house within the 24 hour time limit. Hope you are happy! (But of course, we all know people like that are only happy if they are complaining)

Intruder!

Our next door neighbors had an intruder tonight.They have two dogs; you’d think that would be a deterrent, but no. They also have two turtles in an aquarium. They aren’t guard turtles; what a lack in security! The animals were very inviting for the intruder, especially since the intruder is 3 years old and knows the names of all the animals in their house.

That’s right. My three year old broke into the neighbor’s house while they were gone. You see, it went like this…

Tonight we ran to Sams Club and brought home a van load of groceries. We went kind of late in the afternoon and the place was a madhouse; of course, they didn’t have anywhere near enough checkstands open. Since it's getting too late to make dinner, we grabbed a ready-to-eat chicken for dinner.

Got home and unloaded, put all the thawing stuff in the freezer, Gracie was running around happy to be out of the van and free again. We had all the doors open, and opened the back patio door too for air flow.Ahhh, nice! Gracie ran out back and came running back in announcing she was going to play with Teddy and Yessica.

Teddy is the dog next door and "Yessica" is actually Jessica in toddler-speak. Jessica is the 18 yr old neighbor girl who adores Gracie. Ok, fine, go play. One of their vehicles is home, which means someone is probably there. She scampered through the gate between our back yards and our dog followed too. I watched long enough to make sure the gate didn’t latch shut behind them so they could get back home.

We finished bringing in the groceries and then I went through the gate to call Gracie to come and eat chicken. Dinner’s ready! I looked through the gate and called her name and I could see her through their patio door. She was dancing in their house, dogs circling, tails wagging, cool! I’ll go eat without her bugging me and come back for her later; she’s obviously having fun.

Half an hour or so goes by, maybe more, I dunno. And I remember Gracie hasn’t eaten yet, I have to go get her. Although, if she is next door, she’s probably being fed something fabulous. I wonder what I’m missing out on and decide to go let them know we know Gracie is there and she can come home and eat or stay and play, whatever works for them is fine with me. She already had a bath so no rush getting her home.

Hmmm... looking in there, it’s kind of dark. There’s Gracie. Where is everyone else? Door is locked. Um, that’s not right. Hello? Hello? Oh my Gosh! Is my daughter dancing and playing and running around in their house and they aren’t home?!!?!

Holy Hannah! How did she get in there? So I holler, “Gracie! Come outside!” “Ok, mama!”,and off she runs. Then she magically appeared coming out of the dog door to their garage. Oh Lordy. I tried the garage door that has the cut-out on it, it was open. I have to see how she got into the house part of the house, and try to get my dog out of their house. That might look suspicious leaving my dog in there. The door from the garage to the house was shut, but unlocked. I called my stupid dog and she came running.

It’s kind of funny, but I sure hope my neighbors aren’t freaked out when they get home. What if she moved something? What if something got knocked over? Why did they leave a door unlocked? Why do they have such an inviting home with welcoming dogs and turtles? I tried to call them and tell them there was a break in due to their lack of home security, it’s all their fault really that they had a 3 yr old intruder! But neither one of them answered. I’m just going to hope for the best and confess tomorrow. I'm so embarrassed!

Ugly Mailbox leads to Identity Theft

Have I ever told you how ugly my mailbox is? It's so homely that it's kind of cute!

My neighbors and I share a mailbox post and all our mailboxes are nailed to the post. The post sits in front of the house next door. All of our mailboxes are big ugly black rural boxes like you'd see on the highway for the farm up the lane. Not aesthetically pleasing but it does the job just fine.

One day, when I was still pregnant so this was at least a month ago, I went next door to get my mail and 3 of the neighbors were gathered at the mailboxes. I made the 4th, so we were only missing one neighbor for a complete mailbox pow-wow. One of my neighbors, lets call her Bea... I don't know her real name and she acts like she always has a bee in her bonnet, so I refer to her in my mind as Bea. Anway, Bea says to the group that she wants a new mailbox for our group of houses.

Bea is spouting her campaign for a new mailbox and everyone is quietly nodding along. She says we need a locking mailbox, one that looks nice and she will head up the purchase of it. She already spoke with the post office and she's been searching for a mailbox online for us to buy. Blah blah blah.... it'll only cost $200.

Whoa, wait a minute. $200 for a mailbox that we don't need? I piped up and asked for some clarification. $200 total? No, $200 each. Ohhhh, so its a $1000 mailbox! On the spot I voted no thanks to that.

But it locks.

So? I don't need my junk mail locked up.

Identity Theft is a big problem these days. You should consider that. If your mail isn't in a locked box someone could steal it and take your identity.

Anyone can do that anyway.

*Gasp* Its very dangerous to just leave your personal information out for the identity thieves! We need locking mailboxes to protect ourselves in this day and age!

How does a locking mailbox protect us if our mail carrier consistently puts the wrong mail in the wrong boxes. How did we all meet? Right here at the mailboxes trading mail.

This mailbox would look nice.

Ah, I don't care.

But! Um! Well!

(other two neighbors are awfully quiet)

You know, if you want to protect yourself from identity theft with a locking mailbox that looks nice, you could get a PO box and pick up your mail at the post office where it is safe and secure. Problem solved. You go there a lot anyway, so it would be convenient too. (she goes there to complain quite often) Or, you could buy the mailbox you want for all of us as a generous contribution to the neighborhood. I'm not saying I won't use it, but I am saying I won't pay for it.

Jim finally pipes up and says, "Maybe we could each get a mailbox in front of our own houses".

Bea likes this idea, she's going to the post office to see if they'll make 5 stops instead of one. Ok, gooooooooood luck with that.

Bea leaves and goes home with her handful of Capitol One credit card offers and Bath and Body works coupons addressed to Resident. I take my mail addressed to some guy who doesn't live here, Resident, and Postal Customer. Identity thieves, take that!

It has been a month or two since our mailbox pow-wow and I haven't seen Bea again. I think she still lives there. Three of my four neighbors (Bea is the 4th) thanked me for declining the grand mailbox (literally, a grand). Saved them from going in on it just so they wouldn't be the bad neighbor. You are most welcome, I'm happy to be the bad neighbor. We're all still getting our penny savers, credit card offers, pest control bill for the house down the street, flyers for the new chiropractor in town, and guitar center coupons in our ugly unlocked mailboxes.