Friday, November 28, 2008

Survival of the Fittest - at the Zoo

We spent the afternoon at the San Diego Zoo. It was great! One exhibit had some out of the ordinary excitement.

In the otter exhibit, Mother Nature paid a visit and reminded the crowd who is the boss. The otters share an exhibit with some little monkeys, I dunno what kind, crazy monkeys are all the same to me. Otters were in the water, monkeys in the trees. They are all just as adorable as can be.

A baby monkey fell from the tree and landed in amongst the otters. Two otters grabbed the cute little feller and tried to drown him. They were really going to kill that poor little baby monkey. Swayed by the cute little monkey's cries for help, a zoo visitor climbs over the railing and the glass half-wall and leaps in the otter water to save the baby monkey! This guy must think he's superman. The zoo officials have a different opinion.

So now there is a man in the water in the exhibit; baby monkey was rescued! Now the loud flailing man is suddenly confronted with a new situation.... oh yeah.... the monkeys are angry. They attacked him! The guy couldn't get out either.

Zookeepers start showing up. Tons of them. All of them with walkie-talkies and stern expressions. The crowd grew and people glued themselves to the railing. All eyes were on Psuedo-Superman, the otters, baby monkey and now the monkey grown ups.

I wonder if the baby was being a brat and the big monkeys pushed him in? Either way, the monkeys sure didn't like the rail jumper. Zookeepers rescued the man and took the baby monkey out too. Little monkey was hurt, not sure if the guy was hurt or not. I don't think the zoo keepers cared if he had any aches and pains.

We didn't get any pictures of the event of the day, we arrived just as the scuffle between man and beast ended and we were on the fringe of the crowd. I betcha it'll be on you tube tomorrow. There were a lot of cameras snapping away and camcorders recording these wild animals acting so... wild.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

How big is your turkey?

I got a phone call yesterday. My little sis who lives in the frigid cold tundra was calling. She said "Do you want visitors?"

My jaw dropped. I squealed with excitement a big loud "YES!"

She said "ok, I'm booking this flight, see you tomorrow." Yippeee! She is bringing her two boys but leaving her husband home. He has to work.

Our turkey is big enough for three more to sit around our table for Thanksgiving dinner.

This is going to be fun having her here for a couple of days. We've lived her for over 5 years and she hasn't been out to visit yet. She keeps telling me she'll visit in 2010 or 2012. Maybe. I've never held out much hope that she'd ever come out to the coast, especially with her family. I figured the only way I was going to get her out here was if her employer sent her to a conference in San Diego. Fat chance for that!

That sort of explains why I'm in shock and awe over this spontaneous visit! We are all very excited that she is getting on a plane with her sons and heading west for turkey dinner! She claims she is just craving my husband's awesome turkey, stuffing and gravy. But I know the truth, she wants to meet the new baby!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

A New Look

As you can see, I updated the look of my blog! I like it! I updated the photos of the girls too.

I got the template by googling "free blog templates" and I went from there. It wasn't hard to put in because it had instructions, and I figured if I screwed it up I would just email Alicia in a panic and she would fix it for me.

The template didn't include my stuff from my sidebar except for the "about me" and the blog archive. So, I lost my blog roll and the princesses all had to be re-added. I know I am missing a few on my new blog roll, but if I'm stalking you I'll add you back as soon as I remember. If I don't have you on my list though, let me know. I don't want to miss any of my favorite bloggers!

I have to find a newer photo of me where I'm not looking like a dork. Once I find one, I'll update my photo too. The photo I put on of my husband is his school picture. He is a teacher, so that is what will go in this year's yearbook for his school. That's what he looks like though. Really and truly! He rides his motorcycle to school most days and that is what he looks like when he gets to class in the morning. Apparently, that's when they took school pictures.

Hope you like the new look.

Friday, November 21, 2008

She Pooped in the Potty!

She did it! She did it! She pooped in her potty chair!!!

The entire family looked at her turd as she proudly pointed to the little log in the potty chair. We were all proud! Hugs and kisses and cheers and aplause! Even the dog looked in the potty for a gander at this great accomplishment!

And then it happened. In the midst of our celebration....

The dog ate the poop.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Weird Tuesday

Yesterday was so bizarre. As if the earthquakes on Monday weren't enough, Tuesday came along.

When I dropped Gracie off at the babysitter, I said "Bye, Gracie, I love you!" Her response: "Te quiero, mama!" Then she looks at the other little girl and says "Venga!" and off they ran. Weird, my daughter suddenly speaks Spanish.

Lexie gets out of school at noon, and I often forget to pick her up. Noon just rolls around too fast! Because of that, she usually calls me to see if I'm on my way or if she has to sit on the curb in the blazing hot sun waiting for me. Yesterday, I remembered! And this is what happened:

I was driving along, I'm 3 blocks from the school coming up to the stop sign on the corner with the big giant bushes, so you kind of have to sneak up past the stop sign to see around the corner. That's where my phone rang, it's Lexie. Like a dummy, I pick up my phone and say "Hello, yup I am on my way, almost there, ok bye" And that's when I stopped for the stop sign. And I look around the big giant bush and there he was... motorcycle cop.

He flipped on his lights at pointed at me. I couldn't believe it! I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving! Arg! And the dumb part is that my bluetooth was right there in my cupholder and I didn't use it!

Later in the afternoon when I arrived at the university parking lot, I pulled up to the parking pass machine to let it rob me again and give me my dashboard ticket so I can park for a couple of hours. Stupid machine wouldn't work! I drove over to the other machine on the other side of the parking lot. It wasn't working either! But, there was the parking lot cop writing out tickets, bet she was busy!

I'll be danged if I am getting two tickets in one day! So I got her attention and yelled to her to come over to me. I explained that neither machine was working and I need to park, she said she didn't do that, she couldn't help me, it wasn't her job, yadda yadda. I asked her to write me a guest pass for the day. Oh no, she can't do that, again, not her job and all that jazz, she'd have to call a police officer and ... Ok! I"ll wait! Call the officer!

He finally shows up and checks out the machine, it doesn't work. I ask for a guest pass, he actually has a handful of them. Good boy, he came prepared. I got one and avoided a $50 ticket! And a couple of other people who came up to the machine after I did got free parking passes too. Including the lady who was red faced and crying cuz she already got a ticket.

While waiting for class to begin, another scholar/student comes up to me and starts chatting away. She was jabbering on and on about something rather lame, and then the unthinkable happened. She must have had an itch. She just plunged a hand into her pants. Right there in front of me! And she kept right on talking! Another bizarre moment in my day.

On my way home from class, I noticed at least 6 people driving with cell phones up to their face.

Got home and I was so full of milk I thought I was going to explode! I sat down with my pump and unhooked one cup of my bra, and ewwwww! A spider! A little creepy crawly spider! In my bra! The bra I am wearing!!! Yes, there was a bit of screaming and I did a little spider in my bra dance which consisted of some jerking movements, possibly some jumping around, I'm sure it wasn't graceful by any stretch of the imagination.

As my day in bizzaro-world winds down, I was relaxing in front of the tv with the littles. I watched Biggest Loser and Libby played under her ADHD invoking canopy of bright colored toys and Gracie read books to her Barbies. Ahhhh.... But no relaxing, because on the Biggest Loser, Amy voted for Coleen! What! How! What on earth is happening! No Way! Why didn't she vote Vicky off! I am deeply disturbed.

I'm so glad its Wednesday now. It's a new day! Fresh start! Yesterday was just too strange.

Monday, November 17, 2008


We had three earthquakes today so far! And it isn't even noon yet!

2am .... Thump! I jolted out of bed - Gracie fell out of bed. False alarm, not an earthquake. Except for Gracie of course! She wanted to stay in her pink room (she always calls it her pink room, apparently loving my paint job!). So she curled up half in and half out of her Barbie Dream House and spent the rest of the night on the floor like that.

4:36 am.... I was just getting Libby back to sleep, we were rocking in the glider and the whole house shook and groaned! Now that was an earthquake! I hate the sounds the house makes, it sounds like it is gonna fall in on ya. My husband rolled over and kept snoring. My dog lifted her sleepy head and plopped back down again. I kept rocking the baby waiting for an aftershock, but when 5am came around I decided to relax and go back to bed. I can't believe that didn't wake anyone up, geez, I was yelling "Earthquake!". It was a 4.1!

9:41 am... Everyone is at school except me and the littles. We were all cuddling in the lazy boy watching Dora La Exploradora, waiting for the eggs to hard boil (it turns out that Gracie doesn't like hard boiled eggs today, she wanted scrambled) and it happened again. The groaning and creeking, and the entire house shook! Again, I announce "Earthquake!" and so does Gracie. Apparently I think I am the town crier. It was a 3.8.

9:46 am.... Little bitty aftershock. Jiggle Jiggle. Only a 1.2.

These earthquakes were all from the same epicenter, about 15 miles from my wibbly wobbly house. I think we'll have milkshakes this afternoon, just to keep with the theme of the day.

The USGS site is here, Click and see where the earth shakes.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mom vs. Pack n Play

Mom Wins!

I put together the Pack n Play. Pack n Play is the new term for playpen. Playpens are smaller than they used to be, and the sides don't fold down. But, they fold up into a compact little cube for easy traveling. Great, but who travels?

I bought one before Princess Gracie was born and I struggled to put the thing together. The instructions said it takes approximately ten minutes. I think it took me about an hour then, and it took me about an hour again this time. Seems like you should just unfold it and there it is, just like the old days. Not anymore, now you need a playpen college degree.

When Gracie was finished using it, I gave the thing to my cousin who adopted a baby. She wanted one more so that she wouldn't have to fold hers up and put it back together when she went somewhere. I agreed that was a good idea! Recently, she gave it back to me for my new little princess. Funny, she gave it back in it's compact bag, plus another bag and a handful of metal rods. It's supposed to all fit back together in this little bitty bag, ha!

I unloaded the thing and had playpen parts all over my room. I totally forgot how complicated this thing was! Pieces of fabric, metal rods, screws, and the cardboard mattress and the big jumble of mesh and plastic that is the main structure. Ay, Ay, Ay!

Moments like these make me thank my lucky stars that my childhood included a lot of time with jigsaw puzzles.

I pushed, pulled, hooked, snapped, screwed, scratched my head, took things apart, put them back together, this goes where? there? no, maybe there... yup, that's it. An hour later... Ta Da! One playpen, complete! Mom Wins the battle of the Pack n Play assembly!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Irony and Porn

I watched a movie yesterday afternoon. It's an older one that everyone else has seen twenty times by now and I finally got around to catching it. I watched Mona Lisa Smile. I really enjoyed it. I love those feminist empowerment movies! Lets be more than subservient housewives! Girl Power!

When the movie was over I got up and did the dishes, cooked dinner, swept the floor, fed and diapered the baby. How ironic.

Late last night, I dove into a new book. Getting Mother's Body by Suzanne-Lori Parks. It is a relatively new book, just published five years ago. It's an assigned novel for my class that I'm taking. I opened it up to the first page of the first chapter and Whoa! This is pornography! Graphic description. My eyes stung.

I kept reading.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I am not a "Pro", People just think I am.

Apparently, having baby #4 bestows "Pro" status on a mommy. People say things to me like "you're a pro". That's nice that they think so, but really, I'm stumbling through this whole mom thing just like everyone else.

But, since so many people think I'm a "Pro" I do get a lot of questions. And, funny, I am able to answer most - you decide for yourself if I really know the answer or if I'm just winging it. Pros never tell when they are faking it. Here they are, questions people have asked me and my answers:

When will my baby sleep through the night?
When she wants to, hopefully before kindergarten. Babies weren't meant to sleep through the night, they are little. 8 hours to a baby is a very very long time! Babies need to eat and get a fresh diaper once in a while, even if it disrupts your sleep. Just get up and do it.

Does your husband get up with the baby at night?
*speechless, I'm totally speechless* ROFLMAO

Does your baby sleep through the night?
(more side splitting laughter on my part) No. Neither one of my babies sleeps through the night. One of my teenagers doesn't either.

Can I breastfeed my baby with my pierced nipples?

Ouch. Why do you think I would know this? I am not speaking from experience, but yes, you can nurse your baby. Just take out your jewelry.

Can I give my baby a bath?
Yes, after the umbilical stump falls off and the belly button heals you can use a tub of water instead of a spongebath.

What is a boppy?
it's a $40 horseshoe shaped pillow.

Oh, then what is a bumbo?
that's a $40 foam chair for babies who can't really sit up yet.

A bugaboo? Binky? Bob?
Stop it with the cute products starting with the letter B! And, that's a stroller, a pacifier and a jogging stroller. Roll Eyes

Are cloth diapers better than Pampers?
Not if I have to wash them! Ewwww. But, really, a lot of people use cloth and if you think they are better for your baby and you want to wash them, then don't let me stop ya. But, I'm not the least bit interested in having a bucket of poopy diapers soaking in a bucket in my tub.

How do you know if you wet your pants or if your water broke?
Again, why am I the pro on this? Do I look like I've wet my pants so much I can be called an expert? I assume that you'd just know. And if you don't, I'm sure the nurses at the hospital will tell you and then smirk behind your back.

Can I eat fish when I'm breastfeeding?
I dunno. I never eat fish. But I do love those little goldfish crackers. Yum!

Four kids? Wow, how do you do it?
Do what?

Where do they all sit in the car? Does your whole family fit?
They don't all sit in the car at the same time. One has her own car and one needs her own car. But I do drive a mini-van so we can all fit at the same time. Including the dog.

My baby has a fever. Should I take her to the ER?
No, just call the pediatrician's office and they'll tell you what to do.

Are your baby's eyes open yet?
Yes. She's not a kitten. Humans can open their eyes right after they are born!

What do you do with your baby when you go to school?
I take her with me.

Do your teenagers help all the time?
No. They help when I threaten to end their social lives.

Are you gonna try for a boy now?
No. Why would I want a boy now that my entire house is pink?

There are a few of the questions people have asked me. What are some of the crazy parenting questions people have asked you?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Ugly Mailbox leads to Identity Theft

Have I ever told you how ugly my mailbox is? It's so homely that it's kind of cute!

My neighbors and I share a mailbox post and all our mailboxes are nailed to the post. The post sits in front of the house next door. All of our mailboxes are big ugly black rural boxes like you'd see on the highway for the farm up the lane. Not aesthetically pleasing but it does the job just fine.

One day, when I was still pregnant so this was at least a month ago, I went next door to get my mail and 3 of the neighbors were gathered at the mailboxes. I made the 4th, so we were only missing one neighbor for a complete mailbox pow-wow. One of my neighbors, lets call her Bea... I don't know her real name and she acts like she always has a bee in her bonnet, so I refer to her in my mind as Bea. Anway, Bea says to the group that she wants a new mailbox for our group of houses.

Bea is spouting her campaign for a new mailbox and everyone is quietly nodding along. She says we need a locking mailbox, one that looks nice and she will head up the purchase of it. She already spoke with the post office and she's been searching for a mailbox online for us to buy. Blah blah blah.... it'll only cost $200.

Whoa, wait a minute. $200 for a mailbox that we don't need? I piped up and asked for some clarification. $200 total? No, $200 each. Ohhhh, so its a $1000 mailbox! On the spot I voted no thanks to that.

But it locks.

So? I don't need my junk mail locked up.

Identity Theft is a big problem these days. You should consider that. If your mail isn't in a locked box someone could steal it and take your identity.

Anyone can do that anyway.

*Gasp* Its very dangerous to just leave your personal information out for the identity thieves! We need locking mailboxes to protect ourselves in this day and age!

How does a locking mailbox protect us if our mail carrier consistently puts the wrong mail in the wrong boxes. How did we all meet? Right here at the mailboxes trading mail.

This mailbox would look nice.

Ah, I don't care.

But! Um! Well!

(other two neighbors are awfully quiet)

You know, if you want to protect yourself from identity theft with a locking mailbox that looks nice, you could get a PO box and pick up your mail at the post office where it is safe and secure. Problem solved. You go there a lot anyway, so it would be convenient too. (she goes there to complain quite often) Or, you could buy the mailbox you want for all of us as a generous contribution to the neighborhood. I'm not saying I won't use it, but I am saying I won't pay for it.

Jim finally pipes up and says, "Maybe we could each get a mailbox in front of our own houses".

Bea likes this idea, she's going to the post office to see if they'll make 5 stops instead of one. Ok, gooooooooood luck with that.

Bea leaves and goes home with her handful of Capitol One credit card offers and Bath and Body works coupons addressed to Resident. I take my mail addressed to some guy who doesn't live here, Resident, and Postal Customer. Identity thieves, take that!

It has been a month or two since our mailbox pow-wow and I haven't seen Bea again. I think she still lives there. Three of my four neighbors (Bea is the 4th) thanked me for declining the grand mailbox (literally, a grand). Saved them from going in on it just so they wouldn't be the bad neighbor. You are most welcome, I'm happy to be the bad neighbor. We're all still getting our penny savers, credit card offers, pest control bill for the house down the street, flyers for the new chiropractor in town, and guitar center coupons in our ugly unlocked mailboxes.