Do you know what it's like to have a conversation with your teenager about her grades and slacking off and that sort of nagging thing.... while making a little peanut butter sandwich with a thyroid pill in the middle for your stupid dog, and your two year old dancing around your legs too.... do you know that is my normal chaotic state?
So, that was me this morning. Dog and toddler underfoot, dancing around each other waiting for their "treats". And I was growling at one of the teens about keeping her grades up. Now this is nothing new... I do this twice a day.
I tear off a little piece of bread, stick the pill in it, cover it with a bit of peanut butter, fold it over and give it to the happy tail-wagger. Then I tear off another piece of bread, skip the pill, add a dollop of pb, fold it over, give it to the toddler. Ta Da! Mission Accomplished.
They both come running when I go in the kitchen and sing Nurse Ratchet style, "Medication Time". You'd think I was giving out birthday balloons or something exciting.
Today... it finally happened. The dog didn't come running for medication time, just the toddler. I figure the dog is on her way with her tail wagging of course, so I make her little drug treat and still, no dog. Stupid dog. I make Gracie's sandwich and gave it to her, pushed Sandy's pill filled treat back on the counter to go look for her. I peek around the corner and repeat "Medication Time!". And continue with "You should care about your French grade!"
While I'm peeking, and yet not more than a step away from the counter where the "treat" sits, Gracie suddenly grows arms as long as an ape and eats the drug filled dog treat! Even though she has her own sandwich in her other hand!
Like the dumb mom that I am, I didn't notice right away, took me a second... then the screaming ensued. "AAAAAAA!!!" That was me. I pried her mouth open fished out the pb sandwich and I found about half the pill. I freak! I immediately look for my shoes, time to run to the Emergency Room!
Wait, maybe I should call someone before freaking out. Wonder if I'm over-reacting. I have no idea. So I called her Pediatrian. No answer. Called the vet. Verified the dose and the medication. Thyroxine .4mg. The vet says not to freak out, but call the ER and let them decide. Their opinion is that it isn't bad but don't let it happen again. I called the ER and the lady answers saying she doesn't know if that qualifies as an emergency or not. Is it poisonous? She doesn't know. Should I bring her in? She doesn't know. She says I should call poison control. Ok, what's their number? She doesn't know. What the hell kind of emergency room is this? She finds the poison control number. I call them. Found out that she didn't ingest enough to do any harm. She would have to eat several pills to constitute an emergency. She's fine. Whew! The Poison Control lady advised to not let this happen again. Well, duh, I didn't "LET" this happen in the first place! Geez. It just happened! The poison control lady also said they get a ton of calls about children eating dog thyroid medication, this is nothing new to them and my child had a very small dose. That made me feel a little bit better at least. Call back if she pukes or has a sudden spurt of hyperactivity. Seriously? She's two! I'd be calling every hour. Anyway, she's fine.
Boy, what an adrenaline rush. My freak out is over. I sat down on the couch and gave a big sigh of relief. Stupid dog drugs!