Many times, more often than not lately, I second guess my reasons for being the crazy mom who goes back to college. College hasn't been easy this year with so much going on. I'm juggling three kids and their activities and a house and whatever else comes along. The "whatever else comes along" encompasses a lot of things lately! Anyway, I do question my motives for being back in college and wonder if it's really worth it.
I've been in a funk lately with my classes and the pressures of the end of the semester looming, because I have a lot of other things going on. I think I found my motivation to change my attitude and renew my zest for the ultimate goal!
The story of my epiphany goes like this....
I was on the phone last night with my husband, who is visiting his friends and former co-workers in the town where we used to live. We lived there for nine years and he worked at a boarding school. He passed the phone around and I heard several people tell me how happy they were to see my husband, congrats on the new baby, sure wish we'd move back, blah blah blah....
Then Veronica gets the phone. Here is the conversation I had with her, it would be good to note that she is the principal and basically she tells the school board who she is hiring and they just ratify her decisions.
V: Hi Mary! We have a lot for you to build on and you can stay on the school campus until your house is built.
Me: Hi Veronica
V: We just love your husband so very much! And we all miss him. School has not been the same since he left. I'll make sure he gets a great contract. He'll have a great job with us and we just love him so much!
Me: And do you have a great job for me too?
Me: yes, if my husband moves back, I would come with him.
V: Oh but you are one of those good moms who just stays home.
Me: Ha ha. I am almost done with college so I'll be working soon.
V: Well we could squeeze you in somewhere. You don't need a college degree. You guys could be out here before school starts this year. We really want your husband back at school.
Me: Very nice of you to offer, but we aren't moving back. We love it here.
V: You know we love you all very much.
Me: It was nice talking to you, Veronica. Bye.
V: Ok, we'll send you some information on the lot we found for you and I'll give Keith his contract details tomorrow.
Me: Ok. bye.
Gee, can I be more belittled and devalued? I am just my husband's baggage? Just to get him she'll make me happy by "squeezing me in somewhere"? Nice. I can scrape gum off tables for a living. I don't even need to finish college. And my husband can have a job where he is valued and appreciated.
This is exactly why I'm in college! So that I'm not living my life in my husband's shadow. So that I'm not working for someone who can't see who I am or what I'm worth. I'm a person. I'm a valuable person! I'm not the baggage my husband drags along. He doesn't see me that way. I don't see me that way, so why should I live my life that way? I refuse to be a peon. I will not be treated and talked to like that. I will not be put in my place "you stay home" and I will not be "squeezed in somewhere". I will finish my college degree. I will be who I want to be!
And I will not work for Veronica!