Sunday, November 9, 2008

I am not a "Pro", People just think I am.

Apparently, having baby #4 bestows "Pro" status on a mommy. People say things to me like "you're a pro". That's nice that they think so, but really, I'm stumbling through this whole mom thing just like everyone else.

But, since so many people think I'm a "Pro" I do get a lot of questions. And, funny, I am able to answer most - you decide for yourself if I really know the answer or if I'm just winging it. Pros never tell when they are faking it. Here they are, questions people have asked me and my answers:

When will my baby sleep through the night?
When she wants to, hopefully before kindergarten. Babies weren't meant to sleep through the night, they are little. 8 hours to a baby is a very very long time! Babies need to eat and get a fresh diaper once in a while, even if it disrupts your sleep. Just get up and do it.

Does your husband get up with the baby at night?
*speechless, I'm totally speechless* ROFLMAO

Does your baby sleep through the night?
(more side splitting laughter on my part) No. Neither one of my babies sleeps through the night. One of my teenagers doesn't either.

Can I breastfeed my baby with my pierced nipples?

Ouch. Why do you think I would know this? I am not speaking from experience, but yes, you can nurse your baby. Just take out your jewelry.

Can I give my baby a bath?
Yes, after the umbilical stump falls off and the belly button heals you can use a tub of water instead of a spongebath.

What is a boppy?
it's a $40 horseshoe shaped pillow.

Oh, then what is a bumbo?
that's a $40 foam chair for babies who can't really sit up yet.

A bugaboo? Binky? Bob?
Stop it with the cute products starting with the letter B! And, that's a stroller, a pacifier and a jogging stroller. Roll Eyes

Are cloth diapers better than Pampers?
Not if I have to wash them! Ewwww. But, really, a lot of people use cloth and if you think they are better for your baby and you want to wash them, then don't let me stop ya. But, I'm not the least bit interested in having a bucket of poopy diapers soaking in a bucket in my tub.

How do you know if you wet your pants or if your water broke?
Again, why am I the pro on this? Do I look like I've wet my pants so much I can be called an expert? I assume that you'd just know. And if you don't, I'm sure the nurses at the hospital will tell you and then smirk behind your back.

Can I eat fish when I'm breastfeeding?
I dunno. I never eat fish. But I do love those little goldfish crackers. Yum!

Four kids? Wow, how do you do it?
Do what?

Where do they all sit in the car? Does your whole family fit?
They don't all sit in the car at the same time. One has her own car and one needs her own car. But I do drive a mini-van so we can all fit at the same time. Including the dog.

My baby has a fever. Should I take her to the ER?
No, just call the pediatrician's office and they'll tell you what to do.

Are your baby's eyes open yet?
Yes. She's not a kitten. Humans can open their eyes right after they are born!

What do you do with your baby when you go to school?
I take her with me.

Do your teenagers help all the time?
No. They help when I threaten to end their social lives.

Are you gonna try for a boy now?
No. Why would I want a boy now that my entire house is pink?

There are a few of the questions people have asked me. What are some of the crazy parenting questions people have asked you?


Living With Cavemen said...

I don't sound like a pro to me...

You didn't answer this question.

I only have boys, you seem to do a really good job of making beautiful, talented girls. Will you make one for me? Since you are the PRO!

Michelle said...

Oh, I love those questions!

The most frightening thing I ever learned was that sleeping through the night meant five hours of sleep. Ummmm whatever MAN thought up that definition was smoking crack. I almost cried when I heard that.

Love the answers.

Kate said...

You know that I have no answers. Just enjoying the questions.

Alicia said...

Thankyou for the laugh!! I love reading your blog! Us pro-mom's out there. Oh wait just in the girl category don't forget that.

Hope you are having fun! School is almost out for the semester. Hang in there girl!

Memarie Lane said...

lol i feel like i am a pro now with #3. but i don't give advice, because it's never universal. when people ask i tell them to trust their instincts.

Shelley said...

"Do your teenagers help all the time?
No. They help when I threaten to end their social lives."

Hahahahahaha!!! Isn't that the truth!

The question that I get the most, because of the age difference between the oldest and youngest, is if they all have the same dad. (As far as I know, they do.)

I'm sure you've heard that one too!

tchrbev said...

As a mom of five, I occasionally get asked, "Don't you know what causes that?" Sometimes I smile and nod, resisting the urge to bop the questioner on the head with my diaper bag. (Is questioner a word?)

Sometimes I answer, "Yes, and we like it very much."