Friday, May 23, 2008

Just Call me Pregzilla!

I am Pregzilla! Don't get on my bad side. My hormones are chanting, trying to get me to do bad things. "Throw it, throw it, throw it!" and "Punch her, punch her, punch her!" and worse... "kill, kill, kill!". Yes, I know, that is just wrong and asking for a prison sentence. How would my family survive if I went to prison for some R&R? They can't put new toilet paper on the roll. I better behave and stay home where I am needed. I'm the only one who knows where we keep the spaghettios.

I got the worst haircut on the face of the earth on Wednesday. When I left the salon, Frictastic Sams, my hair was wet and the stylist "scrunched"it to make it cute. Little did I realize she was hiding her bad work.

I know, it was my mistake to go to one of those quick and cheap places. Lexie calls them the fast food of hair salons. She's right.

So, my horrible haircut dried and the "scrunching" lost its effect after a few hours. It does take my hair a few hours to dry on its own because my hair is really really thick. Really thick! The more it dried the worse it got. It looked like this:

So, I screamed and ranted and raved and threw fits. That didn't help at all. Still looked horrible. So, I cried. Again, that had no effect.

My daughter used her flatiron on it to straighten it and take out the "Poof". Now it was worse! And I looked like this: (Not that there's anything wrong with that - typed with a Jerry Seinfeld voice)

My daughter said, "Oh, mom. I don't want to tell you this, but... it's bad. It's really bad." It was uneven, choppy, chunky, and just hacked up in the worst way. I told the stylist that I didn't want any layers above my jawline. Um.... there are chunks cut above the tops of my ears! So I cried around for another day, wondering how on earth I was ever going to go out in public again.

My husband was scared to pieces to say anything. So, he pretended not to notice. I got 6 inches cut off and was now sporting the Emo look. How can he not notice? So, I mopped my floor. Didn't help my hair at all! But, the floor looks nice.

Today I woke up wishing I was a man so I could shave my head and still be cool. Since I was still having serious pregzilla feelings about my hair, I decided to go back to Fricktastic Sams and just let them know how upset I am and that I was well.... upset! Not that that'll fix anything either, but at least they should know. Not that they'd care.

So I did. First time in my life I have ever gone back to a hair salon with a complaint. I took the stylist's card, my receipt and just to top it off, I took the products that I bought for my daughters back too. I'll spend my money elsewhere. So, I took Princess Gracie and off we went.

Pregzilla enters the salon. I went in and the lady said "Can I help you?" And I said, "No, not really" So I told her that I was in the other day and got the worst haircut I've ever had in my life. I'm upset and I want to bring back the products that I bought and never opened because I'm way too mad at them to use their products too. She says "Just a minute". Another stylist comes over. I re-explain. Pregzilla hormones begin chanting. The stylist, er, she-devil who did my hair wasn't there. I begin to cry. Again! Geez. I am sick to death of crying my eyes out uncontrollably!

The stylists agree, it's bad. Very bad. One of them calls the manager and says please come in. The manager shows up, she was at home enjoying her morning off. Me, Pregzilla, ruins her day too. I'm on a roll. She says "oh, this is bad." The manager talks me back into the salon chair promising to smooth out the layers and even it up. She says it won't be fixed, but it'll be even and not as choppy. Ok. So she does her magic while I sit there really tense and nervous. I keep telling her DONT make it worse!

I sat in the chair and got the bib wrapped around me. With the stylists behind me, I could see their expressions when they got a really good look at my hair. They had only seen it from behind the counter. Now that they were getting an up close good look at it, their faces said it all. They looked at each other with that "Oh.My.Gawd!" look. I feel my hormones rage.

The manager had told one of the stylists to call the owner. He comes in. Fresh from his day off too. Pregzilla strikes another one down. He comes and says "Wow. Where did you get this cut? It really is as horrible as they told me it was". Pregzilla wants to kill.


He wasn't pleased to hear that! The three stylists work on my hair for 2 hours. They blend and trim and style. It finally looks like I won't scare people if I go out in public. They really did a fantastic job of salvaging something out of that nightmare. They gave me products to use. They said I could come in for 5 free haircuts from the manager until my hair looked normal again. She said it'll take several months, but they'll keep it looking tame. I also got a full refund on the products I bought, my haircut and Princess Katie's haircut too. She was with me when I got the hack job.

So, they made up for what the one stylist did. And I'm wondering if the stylist who cut my hair into an Emo mess will still have a job by the end of the day. I saw the expressions on the faces of the stylists today and the owner. They were being kind when they said it was really bad. They said I wasn't over reacting.

I am Pregzilla. Hear me ROAR!!! And don't come near me with scissors!!!


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Don't tell me there are no pictures?

Michelle said...

Oh, wow. I kept thinking that you were doing the overly self-critical thing that every woman does when getting a haircut.

Apparently, this was a good situation to have the pregnancy hormones. Without them, you probably would have fumed and kvetched and hated your hair but gotten no satisfaction.

And my guess is that the stylist didn't have a job halfway through the day, let alone the end of the day. Customer satisfaction (and thus, word of mouth) is sort of critical to businesses like that....

Glad it was fixed (or at least contained)!

desirae said...

I'm glad that your hair is on the way to being repaired (in 6-12months.).. Someone once told me that the places like fantastic sams, and great clips (the chains) hire the girls that didn't cut it (haha get it) in the hair cutting school. I've learned my lesson.. It took me a looooong time about how going cheap, fast, and walk ins welcome was not always a good thing. (Once The lady hit me with the blowdryer while she was singing, sprayed hairspray in my eyes, And SHAVED part of my hair.. (The back part, almost clear up to my ears.. One of my friends actually made the comment, thank god you have boobs, because you so look like a boy.. I sobbed for weeks..) So I sympathize with you.. At least since you are pregnant, your hair should grow faster if you are taking your vitamins.. Right??? (Maybe you could up the recommended dosage to speed the hair growing part along.)

Memarie Lane said...

OMG I would just die. I would also just shave my head, but then I've done that before and it really wasn't bad, actually very liberating. Tempting me now actually....

And it's so funny that we're in the exact same place in our pregnancies, I'm going through the same stuff. I was so depressed yesterday, which isn't like me at all, and I even posted about it, which REALLY isn't like me. And when I felt Odessa kicking, rather than feeling awed, I just wanted to cry.

Kate said...

Oh no. She did not do that to you. Um, I think losing her job is a service to the haircut-receiving community at large. I am hoping that your hair grows quickly...

Shelley said...

Wow...just, wow. I'm glad they did everything they could to make it right for you, but I can't believe someone screwed up so badly. I wonder if she still has a job? (((hugs))) I'm glad you went down there and gave them the what for!

Kayla W said...

Oh Mary! ((((HUGS)))) Sorry to hear about your bad cut! I'm sending you happy healthy hair vibes. Thank goodness they managed to make it look better. You're going to have to show me pictures, if you took some.