Wednesday, January 2, 2008

My Precious Public Puker

Just another day in the life of Me!

I grabbed the little shopping cart monster and one of teens and my long list and headed off to Sams Club. All we have left to eat in the house is candy. And we've been living off of it for three days.

On the way I stopped to ship some books that I sold on Score!

We get to Sams Club and Lexie says... don't drive around the parking lot so fast.... Mom, just pick a spot... quick twirling around.... geez, just park.... (I park)... I don't feel so good.... My response is "will you get the stroller out? Why are you just standing there? Come on Lex lets go" Lex says "I don't feel so good... I'm gonna throw up....

I'll let you imagine the noises she made..... ewwww!

So she's standing behind the van in the middle of the row puking. And I'm screaming "ewww eww ewww! Don't let it splatter on me! Go puke between the cars! Ewww!" She wanders between the cars and pukes some more. Thankfully I couldn't see her puking - which is why I wanted her to hide cuz I didn't want to join in.

Me: "ya done? Let's get back in the van and go home" she says "oh no, I am not getting back in the van!"

oh no.

So I tell her to just chill out in the furniture section and I gave her my bottle of water. She rinsed and spit in the parking lot. Ok she says.

Well, little one is a shopping cart monster and screams and cries if you stick her in a shopping cart, which is why I needed to bring a teen, so I had to push her in the stroller and pull the cart behind me - like a train. No worries, I still managed to talk to my sister on the cell phone while running up and down the aisles throwing diapers, meat, and frozen pizzas in my cart at break-neck speeds. I got my shopping done in no time, never once consulted my list, collected my puker and drove very carefully home. Didn't want to rock the boat.

She just ate a handful of candy and asked if we had any beef jerky leftover. Grabbed a soda and headed to her computer. I think she's recovered already! Teenagers!

Lex is the Queen of Puking in Public. I've pulled over so she could puke on the side of the road, she's hurled in gas stations, she ralphed all over main streets in several towns, and she shut down Hallmark once - she puked in the entrance trapping people in and barring others with her puke barricade. She's puked at school, in class, in the hallway, in the quad, in the gym.. she's not particular. If she gets a little queasy, she'll blow. I've never even heard of anyone who pukes in public as much as this kid. She's precious. But she pukes.


Steve and Alicia said...

Mary...I just love the stories about your kids! I hope mine are just as fun as they get older!! We are planning a HUGE trip to LA/San diego for 4th of july week, so if you guys are home we are gonna have to stop by. I have to actually meet your girls!!

Good luck with all the puke and everything else you are dealing with. Does School start next week for you?? Do you have a fun line up planned for next semester??

Hang in there and I know all about the train in Sam's club!!!

Mary said...

Thanks Alicia!

Lexie was eating candy and wondering where all the beef jerky went last night, so I guess she's just fine. And the bonus of public puking is that MOM doesn't have to clean it up! Score one for me!!!

School doesn't start for weeks! High school starts Jan 15 and college on Jan 22. Ugh! My husband starts the 7th. Too much idle time!

onthegomom said...

WOW... You are killing me with your stories. I didn't mean to laugh, but dang, that was funny.

So far, you have had kids passing out and now puking, I can't wait to see what else is in store!!!!

I can't wait to tell my sister this story, my 4 year old niece is a puker and she gets a little worked up, a little cough, or WHATEVER and pukes. Good to know it won't ever end for my sister...insert evil laugh here. :-)

Rayne said...

Wow! Impressive public puking record. My brother was the same way. Every time he said he didn't feel well everyone would scatter.